Iowa native thought she had to leave to find acceptance

The fourth of six children growing up in Carroll, Iowa, Marla Cattermole always felt fundamentally different from her siblings. Marla came of age in the 1970s, an era when serious discussions concerning ho-mo-sex-u-al-i-ty were whispered among adults, and when -- even in the largest cities -- gay bars were routinely raided. Despite never hearing the word "lesbian" until she was old enough to buy her first beer, Marla always knew she wasn't cut out for the traditional wife and mother role so eagerly sought by her sisters.

Now Marla feels self-denial in her younger years inhibited her socially. Though she participated in high school sports and had many friends, Marla was always careful in her actions and words. She was worried about her orientation almost to the point of paranoia: Marla thought her feelings of being "different" and her attraction to women would surely be noticed and questioned by others.

To truly be herself, Marla thought she would have to leave small-town Iowa. The quickest route she found was enlisting in the Army. Somehow, Marla felt she would find the woman of her dreams in uniform, and indeed, she knew she found the one when she met Julie Lobur during their first days in Basic Training.

Whether divine intervention or fate, Marla and Julie stood next to each other for eight weeks, in the same platoon within a company of 150 women. Just days before graduation, Julie's orientation was reported, and she was discharged. During her last trip through the chow line, Marla saw to it that Julie had her address tucked safely away. Two years and about 100 letters later, they fell in love and made a life together in Julie's hometown of Harrisburg, Penn.

Fearing her family's reaction, it was several years before Marla came out to her mother and two sisters who still reside in Iowa. Her family has been tolerant, but acceptance has taken quite some time. One of Marla's younger sisters took exception to Marla's lesbianism on religious grounds and refused any contact with her for a few years. While she has warmed up a little, she still refuses to acknowledge Marla and Julie as a loving couple, who are now lawfully married.

For twenty-three-and-a-half years, Marla and Julie shared all of life's greatest tragedies and triumphs, earned college honors, celebrated births, and mourned deaths -- everything any family endures.

And the very same small town Marla felt she had to leave in order to be herself was the very place Marla and Julie came to share another family milestone: They married at the Carroll County Courthouse in June.

The above photo is Julie and Marla on their wedding day with Marla's sister and mother.